Tomorrow is prep day for my colonoscopy and endoscopy on Tues. I’m so so stressed. The thought of going without food, having to take heavy duty laxatives, the pain it will cause me. Uggggh! Why,why can’t they find an easier on patients way to do these tests.
How the hell am I supposed to take all my medications on an empty stomach without getting sick?! You can’t get sick because you need to keep the laxatives down. I can’t take Gravol. I’m allergic and I forgot to get a Zofran script in time.
This is going to be pure torture. It causes the very thing I’m trying to stop.
I need answers. I need these tests, I just can’t wrap my mind around the prep.
I’ve been though prep once before that was actually even worse than this one. It was for having my bladder removed. I hurled because I couldn’t stomach the shit load of antibiotics they made me take after two days of fasting and emptying out. Two days prior to the surgery, then the day of, and 5 days after of nothing by mouth. 9 days I went without food or fluids other then IV.
This I have to fast for tomorrow, and I won’t be able to eat until sometime after the tests on Tuesday. If all goes as planned, the tests are at 9:30 am thankfully.
Tomorrow I’m allowed to have clear fluids. I’m stocked up on banana Popsicles, Jello, chicken broth (Although I’m allergic to garlic & onion and chicken broth has both. So for that only if I’m really desperate). And I have lots of Gatorade.
I’ve been given permission to take Ativan before I go to the hospital since my fear is extreme. In fact so extreme with medical procedures that it will trump sedation. Ativan does nothing for me when this fear hits. I will take it anyway before I go and again while I’m there waiting.
I’m also being put right to sleep because of the above. Sedation won’t work for me. I’m grateful they’re willing to put me to sleep. I don’t want to know or be aware.
So wish me luck. I’m going to be one hangry, scared person for the next couple of days. Poor Mr. CrankyPants. He’s going to be home to help me. There is no way I’d be able to look after our needy dog while going through this. I also won’t be able to drive myself.
Tomorrow is our family day holiday so Mr. CrankyPants is home. Tues. he’s taken a day off work to take me to the hospital and look after things after.
I’m scared too that the diagnosis is going to be what I suspect. The other side is that I’m scared things are so bad and there won’t be answers. Sigh. They will be doing biopsies too; With those I’ll have to wait a week or so for answers, but anything they find with the scopes, I’ll know as soon as I wake up enough.
Gahh I want out!
Scared & Stressed,