An Unwelcome Gift

Mr. CrankyPants brought home the sick. I swear he has the plague. Poor guy. It takes a lot to knock him off his feet. He’s not one who gets “the man flu.” He’s been known to go to work throwing up. So…He’s sick.

Guess what?

That’s right, now I think I’m getting it.

Weird thing is I never got any of his plagues when I was on immune suppressants. Now that I’m off them, I get the sick?! Things that make you go hmmm…

I really hope I’m not getting it but denial will only last so long.

On a side note I still haven’t started Enbrel. I haven’t heard from anyone in it’s regard for a week. I’m not sure what the hold up is.

I know the Ins. co. has decided to dictate to myself and the Enbrel Co. where the med can be dispensed. It’s crazy, it can’t even be dispensed where I live. What?!

Anyone thinking of going this route at least in Canada, be warned that you will be baby sat like a criminal while on this med because it’s so expensive. I sure hope it helps me for all the trouble in getting on it.

On another side note, I still haven’t heard about a colonoscopy date and I’m getting worse. My on and off stomach ache has now turned into constant and often sharp stomach pain. It gets worse when I eat. The fissure is still there too.

I was actually considering going to emergency this weekend but now that Mr. CrankyPants has the plague, he can’t take me. He’s too sick and I’m sure the hospital wouldn’t appreciate him coughing all over their ER.

We need a break.

Dear Mr. CrankyPants please no more gifts of this nature. I’m good really I am. Much love.

No Snow & Sunshine,

CrankyPants

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Starting Soon

So today I got a bit of surprise in the mail. I was getting candle supplies, so when I opened one of the boxes, my mind didn’t register what I was seeing at first. It didn’t look like candle supplies. It didn’t look like candle supplies because it wasn’t. Well what was it then?!

It’s always fun to get a package via mail but this isn’t the type of package most would want to get. Okay okay I’ll tell you. When you are approved for Enbrel, they send you a free kit. In the kit is a sharps container to dispose of the needles you give yourself once a week. They also send you a case with a small ice pack in it. Enbrel has to be kept cold so the case is for traveling.

Enbrel Kit
              Enbrel Kit

I’m grateful it’s free but it’s reality setting in that I’m about to start another new medication that I hope will help without nightmare side effects. It’s hard to hope to much. I find it hard because I’ve hoped so many times before.

While I’m pretty used to giving myself needles since I had to do intramuscular injections on me for methotrexate, and I had to do subcutaneous injections on me when years ago we went through IVF, I’m always nervous to start. I’ve heard this one can burn. I need to let it warm up to room temperature to help with that before I inject. I’ve always found don’t think, just do it helps me get it done. It’s usually never as bad as your mind thinks it will be hence the “don’t think” part.

I didn’t know this package was coming and I have no idea when the pen needles are coming. I would assume soon. You can bet your ass I looked to see if the needles were included in this package. Can’t say I wasn’t glad they weren’t yet. It will give me a bit more time to work my mind around this next phase.

I would like to video my first injection but my Hubby can’t stand watching me inject. I can’t inject I don’t think and video myself, so no promises made. I will try.

Have you had to give yourself injections for your autoimmune disease? If so how did you do with it?

Sun & Stars,

CrankyPants

 

It’s Relentless

These diseases are relentless I’m sure along with me, many of you feel like we never get a break. I wish I knew what it felt like to feel well again.

Yesterday I struggled to breathe all day. That’s been going on a week but yesterday was the worst. I’m in a lot more pain in many of my joints being off the meds now. Today, I’m still struggling to breathe on and off, my joint pain is bad, I feel fatigued and now I’m having gallbladder pain as well.

I just want to kick this diseases ass right back to the pit of hell where it came from.

This is the raw reality of living with autoimmune diseases. They ambush, they hurt like hell, they’re invisible, and they cause never ending sickness. For me as far as I know, Rheumatoid and Lupus are what I’m living with.

Last night I had to hand out candy without Hubby’s help as he worked late. Holding the candy bowl hurt, getting up to answer the door hurt, dealing with my out of sorts dog was exhausting. The disease takes the fun out of everything.

I’m so done with it, but it’s not done with me. 😦

Do any of you find you get worse at night? I’m worried today feeling this rough because evenings are always worse.

No sugar coating this illness. It sucks.

Side note it’s snowing so I’m trapped at home on top of it. I had so much I needed to get done today but I can’t make the long drive on icy roads. I’m too scared and it would hurt to much to drive.

I also for the third time in the process of going on Enbrel got grilled about my Rheumatoid Disease. This time from my Ins. Co. At least they’re approving the Enbrel. Sad how they only look at the joint issue of the disease and are oblivious to all the systemic deadly issues of it.

Sunnier Days & Halloween Candy,

CrankyPants