More Bad News…

I hardly have words and yet my fingers type. I just got more bad news today. I’m shocked and devastated. I have an appointment with my kidney doc (Nephrologist) on Tues. She had me do a bunch of blood work and a pee test as usual before my appointment.

I was debating whether I was even going to go to this appointment because as far as I knew it was just a follow up from seeing her a year ago that they insisted I have. I even managed to talk them into meeting with me via teleconference rather than me yet again making the ten hour round trip drive to see her.

Her secretary called me today and told me she wants me to do one more test before I see her. I’m unable to do said test given I can barley walk with my back injury let alone drive. I tried that once this week and I paid dearly for it.

Doing the test before I meet with her was too short a notice.

I asked her secretary why I needed to do this extra test. Was there a problem.

She said she’d try and get the Dr. to give me a call.

Uh oh…

A couple of hours later the Dr. kindly called me. She told me that my kidneys are spilling a lot of protein and blood. It’s way worse then ever before and things are showing up in my blood work that never did before. She was as surprised as I. The Dr. thinks that I have lupus nephritis. That’s lupus that attacks your kidneys. (Like Selena Gomez  and Nick Cannon have).

Then she said she needs me to get a kidney biopsy asap which meant another long drive and a costly overnight stay. I think it was at this point I started to cry. Between the trip, the bad news and the fear of getting a biopsy, it was all too much.

On so many levels I’m unable to make another trip.

  • Number one: My back Injury. There’s no way I could sit in a truck for 5 hours then have a biopsy and travel home after.
  • Number two: The weather. We have snow. I can’t make this trip in the snow. The roads are not looked after up here.
  • Number three: Mr. CrankyPants can’t take off anymore work to drive me. He’s already taken a day off for the last trip, a day off to look after me with my back injury, and he will be taking a day off to get his own MRI done. 

Thankfully this doc understood and has come up with a potential solution. It seems she has some compassion.

She said she’s going to schedule the biopsy today. She’ll let me know the date when she does (It has to be this month). Then she’ll admit me to the hospital and have the hospital transport me to the out of town test and back.

That way Mr. CrankyPants doesn’t have to take off work and drive, and I can travel safely with my back.

This news has been one of my biggest fears. I’m not doing well with it at all. I watched my mother go through the hell of kidney failure and then transplant. I wish this weren’t happening.

I need life to give me a break.

I’m grateful the Dr. is kind and trying accommodate me. I will say that.

Although I can’t, I really just want to remain in denial. I’d almost rather have not known this is happening. The side effects of some of the meds to treat it are almost worse to me then the disease.

I fear I’ll have the “I’m not taking Prednisone” fight on my hands again.

I’m so weary. I’ve barely had time to deal with being told I need to be tested for MS, then I hurt my back badly, now this.

Maybe I need to go smash some pumpkins or something. I just want to scream no more.

Better Days & More Sun,

CrankyPants