More Bad News…

I hardly have words and yet my fingers type. I just got more bad news today. I’m shocked and devastated. I have an appointment with my kidney doc (Nephrologist) on Tues. She had me do a bunch of blood work and a pee test as usual before my appointment.

I was debating whether I was even going to go to this appointment because as far as I knew it was just a follow up from seeing her a year ago that they insisted I have. I even managed to talk them into meeting with me via teleconference rather than me yet again making the ten hour round trip drive to see her.

Her secretary called me today and told me she wants me to do one more test before I see her. I’m unable to do said test given I can barley walk with my back injury let alone drive. I tried that once this week and I paid dearly for it.

Doing the test before I meet with her was too short a notice.

I asked her secretary why I needed to do this extra test. Was there a problem.

She said she’d try and get the Dr. to give me a call.

Uh oh…

A couple of hours later the Dr. kindly called me. She told me that my kidneys are spilling a lot of protein and blood. It’s way worse then ever before and things are showing up in my blood work that never did before. She was as surprised as I. The Dr. thinks that I have lupus nephritis. That’s lupus that attacks your kidneys. (Like Selena Gomez  and Nick Cannon have).

Then she said she needs me to get a kidney biopsy asap which meant another long drive and a costly overnight stay. I think it was at this point I started to cry. Between the trip, the bad news and the fear of getting a biopsy, it was all too much.

On so many levels I’m unable to make another trip.

  • Number one: My back Injury. There’s no way I could sit in a truck for 5 hours then have a biopsy and travel home after.
  • Number two: The weather. We have snow. I can’t make this trip in the snow. The roads are not looked after up here.
  • Number three: Mr. CrankyPants can’t take off anymore work to drive me. He’s already taken a day off for the last trip, a day off to look after me with my back injury, and he will be taking a day off to get his own MRI done. 

Thankfully this doc understood and has come up with a potential solution. It seems she has some compassion.

She said she’s going to schedule the biopsy today. She’ll let me know the date when she does (It has to be this month). Then she’ll admit me to the hospital and have the hospital transport me to the out of town test and back.

That way Mr. CrankyPants doesn’t have to take off work and drive, and I can travel safely with my back.

This news has been one of my biggest fears. I’m not doing well with it at all. I watched my mother go through the hell of kidney failure and then transplant. I wish this weren’t happening.

I need life to give me a break.

I’m grateful the Dr. is kind and trying accommodate me. I will say that.

Although I can’t, I really just want to remain in denial. I’d almost rather have not known this is happening. The side effects of some of the meds to treat it are almost worse to me then the disease.

I fear I’ll have the “I’m not taking Prednisone” fight on my hands again.

I’m so weary. I’ve barely had time to deal with being told I need to be tested for MS, then I hurt my back badly, now this.

Maybe I need to go smash some pumpkins or something. I just want to scream no more.

Better Days & More Sun,

CrankyPants

 

 

A Rock in my Boot…

First I want to wish everyone in Canada a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m not honestly sure that I have any Canadian followers. If I do, I hope you had a great holiday weekend.

My weekend went well until today (This afternoon). Oct.8/18.

Mr. CrankyPants and I slept in a bit and then spent our morning preparing our turkey and all the trimmings. Then of course a nap came in for me. I’m all about the naps.

We had decided that even though it was cold and snowy we wanted to go for a walk in our conservation area. That place is solace to us in our very stressful chaotic lives.

So we got the pooch ready and we headed off to the park.

I was really looking forward to the walk before having that fabulous turkey dinner waiting for us at home.

When we arrived. We leashed up the dog and walked about 20 steps. I had a rock in my boot. I went to pull my boot off to ditch said rock and boom it happened…

I felt something crunch in my back and then excruciating pain hit. I couldn’t walk or stand.

Mr. CrankyPants is trying to hold on to me while dealing with our pooping dog. (Talk about timing).

I was in tears at this point and trying to figure out whether the pain would pass or not. I think there was some shock going on too.

He asked me if I want to go home. I said no, just take me back to the truck and I’ll wait there while you walk. I did not want to ruin this for him and poopy pants.

But…

It became evident very quickly that this was serious. I couldn’t even get to the truck.

About this time a brave fall camper happened by. He saw that something was very wrong and came over. This camper was I would guess in his 70’s. Would you believe he and Mr. CrankyPants together carried me back to our truck. Talk about wonderful kindness.

I felt horrible for both wrecking the walk and needing a 70 year old to help carry me crying to our truck. Man the guilt.

Anyway, we did not go home. Well we did, to drop off the dog and get my health card.

Then we headed straight to the hospital. One of the small towns near by has a small hospital and the best care. It’s usually much quicker then our big hospital in the main city. And by much quicker, I mean 8 hours or more quicker with wait times.

When we arrived I got out of the truck still in some shock with the pain and I tried to walk.

That was a no go.

Mr. CrankyPants grabbed a wheelchair and took me in. Not only was I taken through triage immediately but, I went straight to a trauma room. The Dr. wasn’t at the hospital but came in to see me and thankfully one other patient, so I didn’t feel like I was the only reason he was pulled away from his holiday.

Doc checked me over while I was still sitting in the wheelchair and decided to order x-rays to rule out a fracture.

I was given a Torodal shot which technically I’m not supposed to have, but the doc felt in this case it was the lesser of the two evils. I have a lot of medication allergies and this wasn’t one.

Those needles can hurt. I feel like I’ve been punched in the arm.

Then it was off to wait for x-rays. Holy crap on a cracker getting up on the x-ray table and positioned had me in tears all over again. I should stop here and say the tech, the doc and the whole staff were amazing. That helps a lot.

So the good news is there was no fracture. Bad news is he thinks I may have slipped a disc. I also have degenerative disc disease ( which I think is Osteo. If so I knew that. If not add another painful medical thing) and I have scoliosis. I already knew that. Funny how that hasn’t been mentioned by any other docs through out this whole disease process in the last few years though.

This Dr. could see how much I was suffering, and that the Toradol did not touch the pain as I warned him it wouldn’t. He graciously offered to give me another punch in the other arm in the form of a morphine shot. I gladly accepted. I didn’t see any other way that I would be able to get into our truck, or walk into our home with way too many steps.

I’m home now with instructions to take extra Percocette (Aka more then my norm). I’m to take muscle relaxants 3x a day and follow up with my GP in a couple of days to let him know what happened and get a bigger pain killer script. I can’t see how the follow up is going to happen given I can’t drive myself right now, and my other half has to work. My other half is going to let his work know what happened so if I need help at home he can come home. Looking after our very needy stubborn dog is a challenge on an average day, let alone with this going on.

Doc said I should do some moving around so as not to end up with blood clots and atrophy.

I will be very drugged up for the next few days, although that will knock me out it will also help me move a bit. When I do walk my whole body shakes and my teeth chatter. I don’t know if that’s from the pain or what. It’s weird.

I’ve had some pretty bad back pain for quite a few years now but this trumps it all at the moment.

I was so scared. Scared of how I was going to do anything much on my own. I guess you just do what you have to when there isn’t a choice.

I’m going to have to stay on top of the pain since I can hardly move with the painkillers.

Despite it all, I’m grateful that:

  • A senior stranger in the park was willing to help carry me to our truck.
  • I was seen immediately at the hospital
  • Doc and tech both came in on their holiday to look after me
  • All medical staff was kind
  • They believed I was truly in pain and not just drug seeking
  • They gave me that morphine punch which helped get me home
  • Mr. CrankyPants took me to the hospital
  • We had our Turkey dinner all made ahead of time
  • We came home to a yummy turkey dinner
  • The morphine lasted long enough that I was able to eat our dinner at the table,and then get set up on the couch for the evening
  • My back isn’t fractured
  • I won’t have to cook for the next week since we have a ton of turkey dinner to eat up
  • So much good can be found in bad situations

I don’t know how long this is going to take to recover from and that worries me, but I guess I just have to take one moment/day at a time.

And that’s my Thanksgiving story. My operation boot and rock removal, ended as operation walk removal.

Better Days & Sunny Skies,

CrankyPants