Random Thoughts From the Brain of CrankyPants

CrankyPants is exhausted. Or should I say fatigued. Those of you who battle autoimmune disease will know the difference.

Last week was crazy busy, and this week is the same. It’s the beginning of busy season for my business. I did a very intense pitch last week and I will be going into another store with my candles. I’m excited and a bit overwhelmed at the same time.

Tomorrow I’ll be talking with EnLive. The company who makes Enbrel. They called today and I didn’t have time to talk to them. Apparently it’s going to be a half hour conversation. They have to call my Ins. Co. whilst on the phone with me. This should be interesting to see if I my Ins. Co will actually approve Enbrel for me and whether the Enbrel Co. will cover the rest of the cost which is about 20%.

It will be the only way we could afford it.

One difference I’ve found since I’ve been off all the meds is that my hands or all the joints in my hands rather hurt more. I assume the Plaquenil was helping some with the pain, but the trade off was being sick all the time. Hmm..No thanks. It will take three to six months to work but if I get on Enbrel it should take care of that.

It’s actually good to know how much the disease is affecting me and progressed since I started all those meds. It’s chilling really how fast it’s happening. Hopefully Enbrel will also slow the progression.

Do you ever feel like it’s so difficult to keep up with how fast life goes while battling this disease, but you have no choice but to keep up? That’s how I feel. I have no family support aside from my Hubby who works long hours. If I don’t get things done, they won’t get done.

I have a cleaning lady who comes in vacuums and washes the floors for me as a home care service. For that I’m grateful. Other than that, I’m kind of on my own. I think I need a holiday.

Well gotta get to candle making. What do you do to get your focus off the pain?

Candles & Unicorns,



6 thoughts on “Random Thoughts From the Brain of CrankyPants

  1. I use cannabis. Sometimes I have to focus on the pain in a meditative way in order to help relieve it. It seems counterintuitive, but it does help. Rest is important but I have trouble with that sometimes. But the old way of pushing myself to keep going is in the past. I can live with that now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes cannabis. I’ve tried it too. I need to give it another fair shot. I have some left from when I had my licence. I never used that stuff as a kid or young adult so it kind of scared me. And as far as it sounding counter intuitive, if it works for you great! Then it really isn’t. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I really do. It took me awhile to get there. Initially I was afraid and so I didn’t use enough of it. I had a lot of negative thoughts in my head about cannabis. I didn’t believe it would really help with pain. Over time I have noticed that sometimes it is the only thing that helps. It relaxes my body and my mind which results in less pain. I learned a lot about what strains to try and that helped. It’s so hard to deal with chronic pain and the stressors that come with being chronically ill. Cannabis softens the edges of difficult things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think that was my problem too. I didn’t use enough. I never used the prescription amount. I was scared so I think I need to give it a better go. That’s a really good point about it calming our anxiety therefore our nervous system down. I’ve done a ton of research on the strains as well. Thanks so much for sharing this.

        Liked by 1 person

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